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Thursday, April 1, 2010

What will Subaru think of next?


SUBARU TO INTRODUCE DOG DRIVING LESSONS FOR 2010*
Sales success leads maker to recognize pet’s role in family and emergency driving situations
Cherry Hill, April 1, 2010 – Subaru of America, Inc. today announced that it will introduce a nation-wide program of free clinics to teach pets how to drive vehicles. Inspired by Subaru’s current “Dog Tested, Dog Approved” TV advertisements (http://www.yourtube.com/subaru), the program is designed to instruct family pets on rudimentary vehicle operations such as applying a handbrake and activating emergency warning lights.

“Subaru owners index highly on pet ownership” says Subaru spokesman Kay Nighne. “And as we continue to out-perform the industry in terms of our sales, we thought it would be good to celebrate our partnership with ASPCA and integrate our owner’s cars and pets even more closely.”

The program will begin in the Summer and should it prove successful, a more advanced program will be developed for pets who enjoy all-wheel drive performance and will feature such specialized techniques as left-paw braking.

The two real-life stars of the Subaru Dog Tested ads, Heinz Variety Olive and Golden Retriever mix Zelda will be co-instructors on the ground breaking program. Neither dog was available for comment as both were feeling a little husky.

Spokesman for the program, and driving instructor for Olive and Zelda, April Fuhl said, “People assumed we had used camera trickery to make it seem like the dogs were driving the cars, but thanks to our training program, they actually were. Zelda especially loved learning how to pull donuts in the parking lot using her teeth and her tail. We admit we have had some trouble getting smaller animals to steer and operate the pedals at the same time, but using Lassie and Ned as our inspiration we are confident that we can bring Pet Driving to a new level.”

*Nope, not really, it’s an April Fool. Please don’t allow your pets to drive your car.

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